Mob Wives – Fuhgeddaboudit!
People love to watch train wrecks, and the VH1 hit show Mob Wives is a train wreck of biblical proportions.
Mob Wives is such a monstrosity, that it is almost beyond belief that a show staring several loud, cranky, surgically-altered, unpleasant, and uninteresting women could be such a commercial success; so much so, there’s a spinoff already airing called Chicago Wives, and another spinoff to be aired later this year: Big Ang staring Big Ang Raiola. (Big Ang is a character in Mob Wives, who is so big in so many ways she resembles a WWE wrestler in drag; with breasts the size of boulders and lips the size of limousine mud flaps.)
I never realized the phenomenon of Mob Wives until Monday morning April 2, 2012. Early that morning I checked on my blog called Joe Bruno on the Mob and I almost had a heart attack. My blog is basically a compilation of short articles having to do with anything about the mob; in America and abroad. It was doing extremely well: getting about 600 hits a day on the more than 300 articles I had already posted there.
But On April 2, when I checked my blog at 9 a.m. I already had 17,000 hits – in less than half a day!
I thought it must be some sort of computer glitch, but then I checked the sources of the hits (the website WordPress where I have my blog allows you to do this). Ninety-five percent of the hits were on six measly articles I had written concerning the show Mob Wives; and especially on how Junior “Hector” Pagan, ex-husband of one of the show’s co-stars Renee Graziano, had become an FBI informant. Not only did Pagan flip for the Feds, but he even wore a wire on his ex-father-in law Anthony Graziano (Renee and the producer of the show Jennifer Graziano’s father). This resulted in Anthony Graziano, who was at the time in home detention on his last leg of an eight-year prison sentence, getting re-arrested. (He has since pled guilty and will do about another three years in the can.)
Then I finally figured it out.
Mob Wives is a Sunday night show, and on its April 1 show, the producers finally told the truth that Pagan, who was appearing in almost every episode, had become a canary for the government. This was in spite of the fact that Pagan’s treachery was already common knowledge since late November of 2011.
As a result, on the following morning, hundreds of thousands of people started googling Hector “Junior” Pagan and they came up with my six blogs. At the end of the day, Joe Bruno on the Mob had the astounding amount of 23,652 hits for the day, more than I previously had in the past month. And this phenomenon continued every Monday after a Sunday night Mob Wives show. My daily hits increased to over a thousand a day, but on each succeeding Monday, I averaged 10,000 hits.
So as a result, I had to do something drastic: I finally had to force myself to watch the show.
What a disaster!
I grew up in Manhattan’s Little Italy on the Lower East Side of Manhattan and I lived in the neighborhood for 48 years. But I had never met such over-the-top, vulgar, and obscene women in my life. Every second word out of their mouth is a variation of the f-bomb that thankfully, VH1 has the good grace to beep over. This could never happen in my neighborhood, or in any Italian neighborhood I have ever visited, and I’ve visited plenty.
Women don’t curse in front of men. Period. And men never curse in front of women either, otherwise a slap in the face would ensue, or maybe something even worse. Men have been whacked for cursing in front of women.
But in Mob Wives, these women don’t only curse rapidly, they do it in front of millions of viewers every flippin’ week.
What a disgrace!
Since I was getting so many hits on my Mob Wives blogs that I had written, I decided to watch the show every Sunday night; after taking two valium washed down by a bottle of Scotch, of course.
And guess what?
The show was bad from the start and never got any better.
The only interesting story line was the one about Pagan, who is no longer on the show because he had been pulled off the streets by the FBI and rushed into the Witness Protection Program.
Because of its inexplicable popularity, a show that is absolutely abominable in content, with horrible over-the-top acting, has now morphed into three shows (Mob Wives, Chicago Mob Wives and The Big Ang Show). This proves beyond a shadow of a doubt P.T. Barnum was right: there is a sucker born every minute.
So for the rest of this book I will re-print my Joe Bruno on the Mob blogs concerning Mob Wives, along with all the responses I’ve received from my readers, both on my blog and on my Facebook page where I also post my blog. Some of the responses are hysterical; some are dumb, and some are downright obscene. I tried to clear up the curse words the best that I could.
If after reading this book, you still watch Mob Wives, well then there’s nothing I can do for you. You’re hooked and you probably will watch Chicago Wives and The Big Ang Show too.
God have mercy on your soul.
And if you have never seen Mob Wives and are contemplating watching one of the three shows, or any combination thereof, maybe this book will talk you out it.
One can only hope.